Click to enlarge the picture, the monkey is actually peeing on the poor photographer's hand
Showing posts with label funny. Show all posts
Showing posts with label funny. Show all posts
Saturday, July 12, 2008
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Monkey business -Funny pic
Thursday, July 10, 2008
Wednesday, July 09, 2008
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Beware Ninja , He is coming for you !!
Beacuse you are my good friend i am giving you a heads up man , don't expect anything more from me. Remember we all pay for our deeds someday. May the force be with you
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Saturday, June 14, 2008
Thursday, June 12, 2008
Sunday, May 11, 2008
Monday, March 03, 2008
Saturday, November 10, 2007
1
Awesome Mumbai-some crazy facts
This is Mumbai
• Churchgate has neither a church nor a gate. It is a railway station.
• There is no darkness in Andheri.
• Lalbaag is neither red nor a garden.
• No king ever stayed at Kings Circle .
• Nor did Queen Victoria stay at Victoria Terminus.
• Nor is there any princess at Princess Street
• Lower Parel is at the same level as Parel
• There are no marines or sailors at Marine Lines.
• The Mahalaxmi temple is at Haji Ali not at Mahalaxmi.
• There are no pigs traded at Dukar bazaar.
• Teen bati is a junction of 3 roads, not three lamps.
• Trams used to terminate at Kings circle not Dadar* Tram Terminus
(Dadar T.T.).
• Breach Candy is not a sweetmeat market, but there is a Hospital.
• Safed Pool has the dirtiest and blackest water.
• You cannot buy coal at Kolsa street.
• There are no Iron smiths at Lohar chawl.
• There are no pot makers at Kumbhar wada.
• Lokhandwala complex is not an Iron and steel market.
• Null bazaar does not sell taps.
• You will not find ladyfingers at Bheendi Bazaar.
• Kalachowki does not have a black Police station.
• Hanging Gardens are not suspended.
• Mirchi Gully does not sell chillies.
• Figs do not grow in Anjir Wadi.
• Sitafals do not grow in Sitafal Wadi,
• Jackfruits do not grow at Fanaswadi.
• But it is true that you may get fleeced at Chor Bazaar!
0
FUNNY STORY - Pub Game Idiot
Last Boxing Day (that's the day after Xmas for those who don't have one) I was in a local bar with three of my friends. I don't smoke myself, but the others all did and one of them, Porky, showed us this bar game. You take a box of matches and pierce the top of it with one unlit match, so that this match sticks vertically up out of the top (i.e. the only side that doesn't have contact with the drawer underneath so that it can still open and close). The challange is to take the box in your hand and with just that one hand open the box, take out a match, light it and then light the match on top with the match you have just struck.
Turned out the hardest bit was getting the match struck with enough force to ignite it but not so much that it carries on and you burn yourself in the palm of the hand (try it and you'll see what I mean!). So me, Porky and one of the other guys had been sitting trying this for about fifteen minutes but mostly kept burning ourselves. Then Toomba, the guy who up to this point had just been watching, decided he would have a go. We were happy to sit back and nurse our burns while he took a blast at it. So, he takes the box in his hand and pokes it open with a finger. He then takes a match out WITH HIS OTHER HAND and procedes to do it and then gloat at his "success" assuming our astonished faces were because his genius brain had cracked it - ignore the "do it with one hand" bit!
0
Top 10 Most Stupid Questions
Top 10 most stupid questions people usually ask in obvious situations :
1.) At the movies:
When you meet acquaintances/ friends.. .....
Stupid Question :- Hey, what are you doing here?
Answer :- Dont u know, I sell tickets in black over here..
******
2.) In the bus:
A heavy lady wearing pointed high-heeled shoes steps on your feet...
Stupid Question :- Sorry, did that hurt?
Answer :- No, not at all, I'm on local anesthesia.. ...why don't you try again.
******
3.) At a funeral:
One of the teary-eyed people ask...
Stupid Question :- Why, why him, of all people.
Answer :- Why? Would it rather have been you?
******
4.) At a restaurant:
When you ask the waiter
Stupid Question :- Is the "Butter Paneer Masala" good??
Answer :- No, its terrible and made of adulterated cement. We occassionaly also spit in it.
******
5.) At a family get-together:
When some distant aunt meets you after years
Stupid Question :- Munna,Chickoo, you've become so big.
Answer :- Well you haven't particularly shrunk yourself.
******
6.) When a friend announces her wedding, and you ask...
Stupid Question :- Is the guy you're marrying good?
Answer:- No,he's a miserable wife-beating ,insensitive lout...it's just the money.
******
7.) When you get woken up at midnight by a phone call...
Stupid Question :- Sorry. were you sleeping?
Answer :- No. I was doing research on whether the Zulu tribes in Africa marry or
not. You thought I was sleeping.... you dumb witted moron.
******
8.) When you see a friend/colleague with evidently shorter hair...
Stupid Question :- Hey have you had a haircut?
Answer :- No, its autumn and I'm shedding.... ..
******
9.) At the dentist when he's sticking pointed objects in your mouth...
Stupid Question :- Tell me if it hurts?
Answer :- No it wont. It will just bleed.
******
10.) You are smoking a cigarette and a cute woman in your office asks...
Stupid Question :- Oh, so you smoke.
Answer :- Gosh, it's a miracle ...........it was a piece of chalk and now it's in flames!!!
******
0
Bumper Stickers for Woman
Collection of really funny bumper stickers for Woman
1. SO MANY MEN, SO FEW WHO CAN AFFORD ME.
2. GOD MADE US SISTERS, PROZAC MADE US FRIENDS.
3. IF THEY DON'T HAVE CHOCOLATE IN HEAVEN, I AIN'T GOING.
4. MY MOTHER IS A TRAVEL AGENT FOR GUILT TRIPS.
5. PRINCESS, HAVING HAD SUFFICIENT EXPERIENCE WITH PRINCES,SEEKS FROG.
6. COFFEE, CHOCOLATE, MEN. SOME THINGS ARE JUST BETTER RICH.
7. DON'T TREAT ME ANY DIFFERENTLY THAN YOU WOULD THE QUEEN
8. IF YOU WANT BREAKFAST IN BED, SLEEP IN THE KITCHEN.
9. DINNER IS READY WHEN THE SMOKE ALARM GOES OFF.
10. I'M OUT OF ESTROGEN - AND I HAVE A GUN.
11. GUYS HAVE FEELINGS TOO. BUT LIKE... WHO CARES?
12. NEXT MOOD SWING: 6 MINUTES
13. AND YOUR POINT IS?
14. WARNING: I HAVE AN ATTITUDE AND I KNOW HOW TO USE IT.
15. OF COURSE I DON'T LOOK BUSY...I DID IT RIGHT THE FIRST TIME.
16. DO NOT START WITH ME. YOU WILL NOT WIN.
17. YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT, SO PLEASE SHUT UP .
18. ALL STRESSED OUT AND NO ONE TO CHOKE.
19. I'M ONE OF THOSE BAD THINGS THAT HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE.
20. HOW CAN I MISS YOU IF YOU WON'T GO AWAY ?
Tuesday, January 30, 2007
Tuesday, November 07, 2006
0
If All The Big Multi-Nationals Sell...CONDOM
Nokia Condoms : Connecting People
MRF Condoms : Extra Rubber Extra Mileage
Moov Condoms : Ah Se Ahaa Tak
Mirinda Condom : Zor Ka Jhatka Dhire Se Lage
Hero Honda Condom : Fill It Shut It Forget It
Lux Condoms : Filmi Sitaron Ki Pasand
Bajaj Condoms : Buland Bharat Ki Buland Tasveer
Kelvinator Condoms : Its The Coolest One
Philips Condom : Lets Make Things Better
Onida Condom : Neighbours Envy Owners Pride
Pepsi Condom : Hooo haaa in**********dia
Thumbs Up Condom : Taste The Thunder
Coca Cola Condom : Eat Condom,Sleep Condom Wear Only Coca Cola Condom or as aamir says its safe
Ariel Condom : Dhundate Rahe Jaogaye
Rotomac Condom : Sabkuch Dikhta Hai
Servo Condom : Use Servo Add Life
CEAT Condom : Born Tough
Amul Condom : A Gift For Someone You Love
BPL Condom : Beleive In The Best
Nike Condom : Just Do It.
Visa Condom : Go Get It
Bagpiper Condom : Khub Jamegi Masti Jab Mil Bayethenge Teen Yaar Mai
Aap Aur Bagpipier Condom
Polo Condom : A Condom With A Hole
Colgate Condom : Maa Mere Condom Me Ched Hai, Ched Nahibeta Sadan Hai
Cadbury(Flavoured)Condom : Asli Swad Jindagi Ka
Prestige Cooker Condom : Jo Biwi Se Kare Pyare Woh Condom Se
Kaise Kare Inkar
Wills Condom : Official Sponsor Of Indian Cricket Team
Minto Condom : The Whole Condom
Sony Condom : Its A Condom
Surf Condom : Bhala Uska Condom Mere Condom Se Safed Kaise
Iodex Condom: ooh aah ouch sai chutkara
Wednesday, November 01, 2006
0
The Nine Important Men In A Woman's Life!
A new study says that having sex decreases your
> chances of
> getting a cold. The more sex you have, the less
> you'll
> have
> a cold. Just wait until guys get hold of this. A
> woman
>
> sneezes and he'll be saying, "Hey, I got something
> for that."
> XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXX
>
> The Nine Important Men In A Woman's Life!
>
> 1. THE DOCTOR:
> because he says, "Take your clothes off."
>
> 2. THE DENTIST:
> because he says, "Open wide."
>
> 3. THE HAIRDRESSER:
> because he says,"Do you want it teased or
> blown?".
>
> 4. THE MILKMAN:
> because he says, "Do you want it in the front or
> the
> back?"
>
> 5. THE INTERIOR DECORATOR:
> because he says, "Once it's in, you'll love it!"
>
> 6. THE STOCK BROKER:
> because he says, "It will rise right up,
> fluctuate
>
> for a while, and then slowly fall back again."
>
> 7. THE BANKER:
> because he says, "If you take it out too soon,
> you'll lose interest.
>
> 8. THE HUNTER:
> because he goes deep in the bush, shoots twice,
> and always
> eats what he shoots.
>
> 9. THE TELEPHONE GUY:
> because he says, "Would you like it on the table
> or
> up
> against the wall?
>
0
funny proverbs
Proverbs According to First Grade Students
Strike while the ..., insect is close.
Never underestimate the power of... ants.
Don't bite the hand that... looks dirty.
Better to be safe than... punch a grade 7 boy.
If you lie down with dogs, you'll... stink in the morning.
It's always darkest before... Daylight Saving Time.
You can lead a horse to water but... how?
No news is... impossible.
A miss is as good as a... Mr.
You can't teach an old dog new... maths.
Love all, trust... me.
The pen is mightier than the... pigs.
An idle mind... is the best way to relax.
Where there's smoke there's... pollution.
Happy the bride who... gets all the presents.
A penny saved is... not much.
Two's company, three's... the Musketeers.
Don't put off till tomorrow what you .. put on to go to bed.
Laugh and the whole world laughs with you, cry and you have .... to
blow your nose.
There are none so blind as... Stevie Wonder.
Children should be seen and not... smacked or grounded.
If at first you don't succeed... get new batteries.
You get out of something only what you... see in the picture on the box.
When the blind leadeth the blind... get out of the way.
Better late than... pregnant!
0
New exercise program
Always consult your doctor before starting any
> > exercise program!
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> > That's enough for the first day. Great job.
> >
> > Have a Beer
Monday, October 16, 2006
0
The brotherhood
What are these two up to ,from the expressions looks like 
he is getting a hand job and enjoying it may he got too worked up before his wresling job
Thursday, October 12, 2006
0
stupid people funny answers
The people who asked these questions; ANY of these questions, must be several sandwiches short of a picnic!! LOL!!
Now that Vancouver has won the chance to host the 2010 Winter Olympics, these are some questions people from all over the world are asking.
Believe it or not these questions about Canada were posted on an
International Tourism Website. Obviously the answers are a joke; but the
questions were really asked.
Q: I have never seen it warm on Canadian TV, so how do the plants
grow?(England)
A. We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around and watch
them die.
Q: Will I be able to see Polar Bears in the street? (USA)
A: Depends on how much you've been drinking.
Q: I want to walk from Vancouver to Toronto--can I follow the
Railroad tracks? (Sweden)
A: Sure, it's only four thousand miles, take lots of water.
Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Canada? (Sweden)
A: So it's true what they say about Swedes.
Q: It is imperative that I find the names and addresses of places to
contact for a stuffed Beaver. (Italy)
A: Let's not touch this one.
Q: Are there any ATM's (cash machines) in Canada? Can you send me a
list of them in Toronto, Vancouver, Edmonton and Halifax? (England)
A: What, did your last slave die?
Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Canada?
(USA)
A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe.
Ca-na-da is that big country to your North...oh forget it. Sure, the hippo
racing is every Tuesday night in Calgary. Come naked.
Q: Which direction is North in Canada? (USA)
A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here
and we'll send the rest of the directions.
Q: Can I bring cutlery into Canada? (England)
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.
Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA)
A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which
is...oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night
in Vancouver and in Calgary, straight after the hippo races. Come naked.
Q: Do you have perfume in Canada? (Germany)
A: No, WE don't stink.
Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can
you sell it in Canada?(USA)
A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.
Q: Can you tell me the regions in British Columbia where the female
population is smaller than the male population? (Italy)
A: Yes, gay nightclubs.
Q: Do you celebrate Thanksgiving in Canada? (USA)
A: Only at Thanksgiving.
Q: Are there supermarkets in Toronto and is milk available all year
round?(Germany)
A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of Vegan hunter/gathers. Milk
is illegal.
Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Canada, but I forget
it's name. It's a kind of big horse with horns. (USA)
A: It's called a Moose. They are tall and very violent, eating the
brains of anyone walking close to them. You can scare them off by spraying
yourself with human urine before you go out walking.
Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA)
A: Yes, but you will have to learn it first.
Q. I am Arab-American. If I go to Canada for the Olympics & speak
Arabic, will I be arrested?
A. No, only in the U.S., where I suggest you speak Spanish..
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