What a DESI of USA may do when visiting India

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

21. Tries to use credit cards in a road side hotel.

20. Drinks and carries mineral water and always speaks of being health
conscious.

19. Sprays deo so that he doesn't need to take bath.

18. Sneezes and says 'Excuse me'.

17. Says "Hey" instead of "Hi".
says "Yogurt" instead of "Curds".
Says "Cab" instead of "Taxi".
Says "Candy" instead of "Chocolate".
Says "Cookie" instead of "Biscuit".
Says "Free Way" instead of "Highway".
Says "got to go" instead of "Have to go".
Says "Oh" instead of "Zero", (for 704, he will say Seven Oh Four
Instead of Seven Zero Four)

16. Doesn't forget to crib about the air pollution. Keeps cribbing
every time he steps out.

15. Says all the distances in Miles (Not in Kilo Meters), and counts in
Millions. (Not in Lakhs)

14. Tries to figure all the prices in Dollars as far as possible (but
deep inside multiplies by 44).

13. Tries to see the % of fat on the cover of a milk pocket.

12. When he needs to say Z (zed), he never says Z (Zed), instead
repeats "Zee" several times, and if the other person is unable to get it,
then says X, Y Zee(but never says Zed)

11. Writes the date in MM/DD/YYYY. On watching traditional DD/MM/YYYY,
says "Oh! British Style!!!!"

10. Makes fun of Indian Standard Time and the Indian Road Conditions.

9. Even after 2 months, complaints about "Jet Lag".

8. Avoids eating spicy food.

7. Tries to drink "Diet Coke", instead of Normal Coke. Eats Pizza
instead of Dosa.

6. Tries to complain about any thing in India as if he is experiencing
it for the first time. Asks questions etc. about India as though its
his first visit to India.

5. Pronounces "schedule" as "skejule", and "module" as "mojule".

4. Looks suspiciously towards any Hotel/Dhaba food.

3. From the luggage bag, does not remove the stickers of the Airways by
which he traveled back to India, even after 4 months of arrival.

2. Takes the cabin luggage bag to short visits in India and tries to
roll the bag on Indian Roads.

1. Tries to begin any conversation with "In US ...." or "When I was in
US..."